Waisting Time on Conclusions

Hello you big wonderful world!

So it’s been a few months sine I last posted. Big surprise…

But I’ve pretty much stuck with my new years resolution and it has actually been pretty delightful. I’ve done something almost every day that made me smile. In the start I must admit it was not easy. But with time I have realized that I allow myself ro relax more and enjoy every day a little bit more than I used to.

There is one problem though. The days when I am not working and don’t have any plans I have this really annoying feeling, that I am wasting time. Precious time I should be living. I’m almost nineteen years now and I feel like if I’m wasting these days I’m going to regret it in the future. I’ve tried to tell myself to relax more.

Breath in, breath out and accept to just be myself with myself.

I wonder if this is a normal feeling. If everyone around me feels like they are wasting that precious time.

Another thing and I think the reason I am so bad to remember blogging is I always want a conclusion before I discuss anything with anyone. Even if I am just alone writing in my bedroom on my laptop. Though I like to think that there is actually anyone reading this, which there proberply is not.

I’m most likely just a maniac talking to myself

Not that it really matters. It helps me think when I need it. But again I feel like I’m wasting time. I could have blogged so much more if I wasn’t such a stubborn perfectionist who always need a conslusion just to make sure I am always right.

Imagine if I could just always just say what was on my mind without putting another thought into it. That would really be lovely.

– Heidi Emilie

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